Have You Ever Wondered What Paedophiles Do With Their Spare Time?

Apparently between their jobs and abusing children they read book reviews – or more pointedly book reviews of Lolita. (Some would see this as befitting Vladimir Nabokov’s masterpiece, others as ironic).

I bring this up because it is really interesting what you learn about the world, or more precisely the shady back streets of the internet, when you start a blog. Often what you post doesn’t reach the audience you imagined or brings in a different kind entirely.

Since publishing the Lolita review I have unfortunately learnt that the (ever so wacky) Japanese have an entire comic genre dedicated to the animated fondling of children, named ‘Lolita’ or sometimes ‘Lolicon’, and that I have brought the interests of that audience to my website accidentally. Fantastic, isn’t it?

The top searches for my site end up being:

lolita
american psycho
gothic lolita
magic lolita
black magic

Some of these are due to the Gothic Lolita fashion style and the book review I did of it, but also amongst this are things like lolita sex, lolita rape, underground lolita, lolita incest, naked lolita and many other weird combos of the word Lolita. This rabid preoccupation for Lolita on the internet has probably given me half my traffic (*hangs head in exasperation*), but most of them probably would have realised the post was about an actual book and closed the window immediately anyway (thank god!).

Anyway, Lolita remains my most popular post (with probably 1% being readers interested in the book). My top five rating book reviews are:

Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
American Psycho – Bret Easton Elis
Black Magic, White Noise
Cooking: A Commonsense Guide
Fusion Junction 1

It is surprising what is and isn’t popular amongst your posts. You’ll find that something you thought would definitely bring in the crowds, such as Presidential Material: Barack Obama (during the election season) and Lady Chatterley’s Lover goes cold (who doesn’t like reading about ladies getting off with gamekeepers?). Others that are seemingly obscure, such as ‘Black Magic, White Noise’ and Mucha, receive a great response. Though I have never bothered planning my reviews around what I thought would get good hits (I just write about books that produce some kind of response in me), I now know that even if I had tried I would have failed miserably. It’s utterly unpredictable.

My sister is bugging me to read Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series because she thinks I will get a lot of hits – but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Not only have I already been told the entire story, been forced to watch the first few movies (which were terrible), I’ve also read about two pages of my friend’s copy of the first book. It was average writing at best – only a person who doesn’t read anything would be impressed by it. I couldn’t be bothered wasting precious hours of my reading and living time on it.

So what have we learned? Mostly that people on the internet are not really interested in politics or 20th century industrialised England, but they are very fond of cartoon kiddie porn, psychotics, vampires and cooking. Seems about correct.

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7 Responses to Have You Ever Wondered What Paedophiles Do With Their Spare Time?

  1. eva2ava says:

    This has inspired me to write a “Lolita” entry. When I was reading this entry, it reminded me of a distinct feeling of perversity when I saw some of Mark Ryden’s stuff. He actually has a “nymph” series that is just as Nabokov described. Art should do that. It should make you uncomfortable. It should make you want to keep looking and discovering why this is so. Guess the only downside is when the “underground lolita” folks come knocking at your door…

  2. goldnsilver says:

    That art by Mark Ryan you referenced really reminds me of another artist; Audrey Kawasaki.

    http://gallerynucleus.com/detail/4403
    http://gallerynucleus.com/detail/4440

    Strangely enough they both use ‘nymphets’ as a medium and they both use a wooden background.

    I’m really looking forward to reading your post.

  3. Of course, by putting these all these search terms here you now are going to have even more of those hits.

    One of my most hit entries is actually a policy entry, about Obama’s comments regarding cloning. However, about half the hits are people apparently trying to find out if Obama is some sort of evil clone. Apparently “Is Obama a clone?” and “obama alien clone” are surprisingly common search terms.

    And an entry I wrote that happened to mention gay sex in non-human animals gets a lot of people trying to find what seems to be bestiality related stuff. I’m not sure if that is more or less disturbing than the people trying to find information about how Obama is an evil clone.

  4. goldnsilver says:

    Apparently “Is Obama a clone?” and “obama alien clone” are surprisingly common search terms.

    God that’s hilarious – who would even wonder that? The next question is; is it because they want to believe he’s the evil clone?

    And an entry I wrote that happened to mention gay sex in non-human animals gets a lot of people trying to find what seems to be bestiality related stuff.

    Oooooo, beastiality. Nasty.

  5. Would love to hear your thoughts on the book itself? I have some here – highbrowstuff.wordpress.com – would be lovely to hear what you think.

  6. Pingback: Satisfaction | ava2evasjacob

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